Sooooo...... Thursday didn't go too well. But you know, Friday is a whole new day, also sunny, no excuses.
Today I took the mare out for a little hack around the village. We were dressed up to the nines in our bestest, brightest hi-viz. Well, a bright yellow exercise sheet on her, a builders hi-viz vest with 'Daavid' written on the back in permanent marker for me (it is a vest that hangs up in the tack room, I have no idea who it belongs to, or why it has Daavid written on it)
The hack went well, lots of traffic, but that's fine, and mostly the drivers round here are pretty good. Managed to get back just in time for a meeting at the preschool to discuss the boy and how he was getting on.
After a quick lunch it was time to get back to the yard to ride the gelding.
I don't ride this horse much, as somewhere along the line we have lost our way. He has no trust in me, and I don't trust him one inch. He is not naughty, or have vices, he is just a bit of a plank, and I am quite keen on self preservation.
To get over my wobbles with him, I had organised for another livery to be there on the ground to babysit me. This has worked well in the past.
Today we very nearly fell out. Admittedly we didn't get off to the best start, a skip lorry turned up just as I was trying to get them in and proceeded to pick up a skip while I was trying to get the paddock gate open (all the woodchip) there were some rather creative swear words heard at that moment.
The moment I got on him I felt wrong, this is not the mare, I am on the wrong horse! Sadly it didn't improve. I spent 20minutes on him, all we did was walk - transitions, circles, loops etc, interspersed with some hefty spooks, a bit of planting and going backwards, some bucks, and even rearing. In other words a right little tantrum.
I know it is my fault. He needs more work, that is all it is, but since my accident and both kids, I am lacking the courage to get on and be the rider he needs. So I've swallowed my pride and asked for help getting him started. This was hard and I felt like shit afterwards, but rationally I know it is what we need. I may still physically be as capable as I once was, but mentally I'm just not up to it by myself. Bollocks.