We had a jump clinic today at our yard with an event rider. It was bloody awesome, felt I learnt a lot, and have been bouncing ever since!
But, the more we do, the more we improve, the more capable and in control I feel, the more I feel I don't actually know where I'm heading.
Last year my goal was to get back into it, to improve my confidence and fitness. Then it was to compete more, which we did, then I felt like I wanted to perhaps give British Eventing a go.
But after this winter I feel a bit lost. Ironically because I've had more time to ride, more disposable income to spend on pony outings and things have improved loads.
But what now? I feel we need to practice our newly acquired jumping skills until they become habit, we should definitely work on our dressage, and I really need to get out xc schooling. But I feel flat, not excited. Maybe I just need sunshine? Or more sleep?
Team Chasing starts for us in 3 weeks, hopefully that should help perk me up. The horse is feeling really well by the way, so no concerns there.
Maybe its just the realisation that we're only ever going to be mediocre? I'm horrifically competitive and I'm no good at being just 'ok'
Meh, maybe I just need to man up and stop moping!